honorable defender

I am a mother of three boys...who will soon enough grow to be men. This is a huge responsibility and I feel it. I thought the Lord was speaking to me about us having a girl next. The times that He spoke to my heart about our daughter were very special moments for me. But in the meantime, He has designed our family to grow three men, three husbands, three fathers. And I feel the Lord telling me that those hopes of a daughter are not dead, they just are not coming to reality yet. And as I look at our growing family of these boys, I know He is calling out the woman He has destined me to be. The mother who was born to be confident in giving love, not holding back, even when I feel like I can't possibly have any more to give.

Our third son will be named, Titus Gabriel. With each child, Matt and I have given them names that fit our current season in life, and the promise we have received from the Lord for our future. The meaning of Titus is "honorable", or "to honor". This has become a huge challenging lesson we have learned in the last 3 months. A lesson that the Lord has allowed us to walk through with great humility. But also, in learning to truly honor those in authority in our lives, it has brought such great joy and healing as we feel the pleasure of the Lord.

Titus also means "defender". On Fathers Day Sunday, one of the speakers at church talked about how a great gift children give to their parents is to stand in their defense. As he was talking, the Holy Spirit spoke to me again about why we have named this son, Titus. Our children are our great defense not only in the physical realm, but also in the spiritual. I love it!

Gabriel means, "God is my might". God is our strength when we have run out. And as we have our 3rd son, I'm sure we will be running out of our own strength quickly. Gabriel is a reminder that we don't have to just rely upon ourselves, and actually we shouldn't. God requires that we fully rely upon Him, going from His strength to strength.

Gabriel is also the name of my brother who passed away when he was almost 7 years old. This was 20 years ago now, and we felt it was very honoring to my family and to my brother.

So as we plan for this next addition in our lives, I feel ready and excited to expand our family from four to five. The thing that hits me the most lately, is that this isn't just a baby we are going to take care of; this is a person...a man who is destined to be alive at this time for a great purpose. And I look forward to seeing that purpose unfold!

behind a name

I am a harvester of grace, that is the meaning of my name. It has taken me over 20 years to discover a deep appreciation for the name I have been given. When I was little, my parents had hung a picture in my room of Ruth in the Bible, gleaning after the wheat harvesters, and something about that picture still clings to my soul. It spoke of seasons; seasons of planting and seasons of reaping, seasons of joy and of pain. It spoke of an appreciation for land and its produce; it spoke of a much bigger spiritual truth and the Lord of that harvest.

GRACE, what an amazing word! The dictionary has a multitude of definitions, here are a few; "the freely given, unmerited favor and love of God; moral strength; elegance or beauty of form, manner, motion, or action." The fact that one of the definitions has the word "strength" in it dissipates my previous feelings toward this part of my name. To me, the word grace did not summate all of who I felt I was. I feel a passion and fire within me, which is too great to deemed "grace." But I understand that this word holds within it much more than the weakness I had thought. It is easy to be a passionate person who unleashes its manifestation wherever and whenever it seems necessary. But put that passion under control, under teaching, under selflessness, and you have grace! It does not mean that grace is void of passion, but it is passion under control. It is passion under the hand of God, who in the same way brings fragrance from a crushed flower, also brings grace from a broken and contrite heart!

I believe a person's name holds within it the key to their nature and destiny. God has changed the name of so many characters in the Bible, that it makes you stand back and ask the question, "Why?" Or at least it did for me. One example is of Jacob, his name means "Deceiver"; God changed his name to Israel, "Prince of God, one who wrestles with God." With that name came a destiny, for Israel had 12 sons from whom God formed a nation. I love the discovery of destiny for my life. God has called me Grace Harvester and I am in pursuit of the Harvest!