windows and gifts

Hello. This is Matt. I am the one who is still falling in love with the red-head who runs this blog. Anne gave me permission to write something, so here goes... I've always known she loves to write, but I am understanding more why she writes and why it's so important for me to read what she writes here. Much more than just a hobby -- this is a window to her heart. Really, we all have windows like that. Windows that invite others to discover who we really are and what really matters to us. It is a personal invitation to celebrate life and all that God has meant it to be with Anne-Therese Ens!

That said, I want to invite you to celebrate with us. We have a new nephew! Kamin Ens is coming home! I am so blessed to be an uncle, and so very proud of my niece and nephews, but I really wasn't sure how I would handle this. Thousands of miles away, my brother and his family are picking up their son...and I am here. I was sure it would sink in somehow over time, but I couldn't get my mind around this adoption process. I just wanted to know what to do. And I wanted to hold him! And I can't (yet)! But when I saw this first picture, it was like my heart got bigger - instantly! And I knew that I really loved this little boy and was so thankful he is part of our family. He is a gift from God and purposed for great things. Reading my brother's blog entry (notice we have to borrow our wives') helped me understand that preparing for what God wants to do is mostly to do with willingness. The rest is a gift from Him. And thanks to Lowell and Melissa's faith and prayers, we all get to share in this new life.

look alikes? (pt 3)

Here are Caleb and Levi, both pictures taken at around 5 months old.

Not so much looking alike, really...

what if i forget?

I was driving the other day with Caleb and Levi falling asleep behind me, (sometimes I just take a drive so they will) and I realized that I would soon be driving by the grave site of my brother. There it went just on my left hand side, I glanced briefly, then wondered if I should stop. One of these days, I actually will.

After I drove away, I thought about him. My mom recently said, "he was only with us for a short time, but his life changed us forever." What a profound response to the death of one so dear to us. I couldn't stop thinking about my response.
...What have I done, because of his life?
...What have I not done, because of his death?
I often forget that he even lived, I get so focused on the fact that he's gone.

I turned to the Lord in that moment of driving without a destination. What have I done, Lord? What have I not done? I could feel the Lord's embrace; I have been afraid to fully LIVE. I have so many dreams unfulfilled, I just let them die because I have been afraid to put everything I have into seeing them come to fruition. What if they do, and I become successful?

When I'm in the presence of the Lord, I feel confident, unafraid, passionate, motivated, full of dreams and visions. I remember that my brother died, and I remember I want to live...really live, because I have experienced the brevity of life. Then, when I go day to day...to day...I seem to gradually forget what I have set in my heart to do. Apathy sets in, along with doubt.

Break the chains of apathy, Lord! I want to remember, and never forget...TO LIVE! I have one life and I need to live it. I will take my dreams and live them, because you have given me LIFE...breath within me. Free me from the fear that so easily entangles me. I will live with confidence, conviction, and consciousness of the fact that YOU HAVE MADE ME, FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS!

to rest

What does it mean to really rest? What is it supposed to produce...because everything we do produces something, right? ("What you sow, you will reap.") When we rest, it should produce energy, strength, an inner focus to charge full steam ahead again. But, well...what does that look like?

Lately, when Matt and I have had some time at home without any agenda, we have had the choice to watch a movie, play a game, watch the Olympics online (no cable TV). But I have found that after any one of these, I'm still tired. I have a full, full time job! Everyday from 7 am to 9 pm, at the least. I keep hoping for that strength to return, so I can do it all over again.

That's usually where I remember that the Lord says to come to Him if we are weary, and He'll give us rest. This is a different type of rest than just putting in a movie, sitting back and taking it in for 2 hours. This is where I can hear deep in my spirit the message the Lord knows I need to hear, this is where I can dive deep into His rivers of living water and be refreshed. This is where I know the curse can not touch me, when I remember all my offenses are washed away by Jesus Christ. I need this type of rest. In fact I cannot get up tomorrow morning without remembering that He is on my side, rooting for me to rise up, and take ahold of the vision and purpose He has planned for my life.

To rest, is to remember. To rest is to pull back, regroup, and listen. To rest is to be still in the presense of our Father. That's the type of rest worth taking!

another senior amongst us

We went out to celebrate my dad's birthday, he turned 55 on August 5th! It was so fun to have our whole family there, which seems like a rare thing now-a-days. I'm so grateful to my dad for choosing to give life to 5 children, never backing down from the call to raise up his children as unto the Lord. It's the best gift a father could give to his children!

After seeing so many 5's in the last couple sentences I wrote, I'm remembering that the number 5 symbolizes GRACE. Dad, may you know the Lord's abundant grace for your life this year!

Dad (Granddad) & Caleb

sisters and brothers

The Whittingtons

Levi & Jackson are only 3 months apart, and they're already fond of each other.

family-full weekend

Here's some more pictures from our weekend with our families.

Grandma Wright (my dad's mom)

Cousin Sarah...

Aunts, Debra and Kristi...

Aunt Melinda, Sarah, and Grandma...


From the time we spent with Matt's parents...
At the beach


At Marie Calendars...

At Avila Valley Barn, so many new animals were born only a month ago! Caleb loved running back and forth between all of them!

my cousins' baptism

I just want to say that I loved seeing my cousins, aunts & uncles, and grandma this weekend! I was so impressed with my little cousins who decided to be baptized in Avila Beach. I think the last time I saw them was several years ago, so this was a treat to see them growing into young men who are choosing to serve the Lord! It's just so cool. So here's some pictures from the event...

My cousins...Jaron & Joey...