ebony and ivory

I keep remembering this about Matt and I, for some reason, so I thought I would share it. When we were dating, and becoming more serious in our relationship, Matt would often put our hands together, side by side, and start singing, "Ebony and Ivory."

Growing up, I never liked the fact that I am so white.. White legs mean no shorts (in my opinion), and I was really self-conscious about not wearing shorts...ever! Double whammy! And it was a big deal when I bought shorts to wear for our honeymoon, in Cancun...hello? Who wouldn't wear shorts in Cancun...on your honeymoon? (Probably only me if my friends and family didn't coerce me!)

So Matt has always loved the fact that our skin is such a contrast. He tans REALLY easily and works outside, so he is almost always really dark. He was really dark when we got married, because every day he was in the Sun. Thus, he sang that song all the time. Looking at pictures of us during that time, that song always pops in my head. I don't think I know the rest of the words even, just "Ebony and Ivory!" (I found an old school youtube of the song, find it below.)

I am now comfortable with my skin, and I like it! (Although you probably won't see me wearing shorts still.)

our love story (part 2)

(Cont'd from previous post)...

He opened the door of the Suburban for me, 12 red roses in a beautiful vase were on my seat. To say I was confused, would be a gross understatement. I still didn't know where his truck had gone, and why our friend's Suburban was here. But after I overcame the shock and confusion, I heard him say, probably for the third time, "We're going for a drive!"

It was about an hour drive from Montana de Oro to our destination, which I still was unaware about. I felt I was in a fairy tale, trying to push confusion and suspicion out of my mind. Could this be the day...did he...could he have planned all this for me...for the rest of our lives? He gave me another present on the way; he had typed up and printed all of our email exchanges and some of his personal journal entries over the last year. What a precious treasure that was to me. And still the suspicion was hesitantly growing. He obviously couldn't keep from smiling the whole drive.

We pulled off the freeway about 15 minutes outside of Paso Robles, to what seemed like the middle of nowhere. But pretty soon in the distance, he pointed out a small building on top of a hill before us. It was really hard for me to receive all this planning and preparations to make a special day for me...for us! But I gathered myself together and we got out of the vehicle, and started on a hike to the top of the hill.

I remember we stopped once under one of the beautiful, ancient archways. Then we kept going to the top, it was breathtaking! When we finally arrived, I could tell Matt was a little nervous. He kept looking at the few people who were also at the top. When some of them left, he wanted me to follow him...into the chapel! What? It was locked, but somehow he had the key. We went into the chapel through a short little door on the side.

When we were inside, there was no light except the red glow coming in through the red stain glass window right behind the altar. We sat down on one of the wooden benches, and in almost complete darkness, Matt asked if I wanted to pray with him. He said that it was a miracle that we were allowed in there, and that he had made a promise to the man who gave him the key, that we would pray for him once inside. We also prayed for our future, and our relationship. Then we heard voices outside the chapel, a man and woman yelling across the courtyard..."I LOVE YOU!" and then another answered back, "I LOVE YOU TOO!" It was hilarious as we sat in silence in the chapel we were not supposed to be in, trying to not laugh out loud.

If this wasn't a proposal, I told myself this was the most amazing day I had ever had. We went back outside after we couldn't hear any voices anymore. I took a deep breath and walked out to the edge of the courtyard to see the view one more time. I heard Matt behind me so as I turned around, he was holding a box and inside that box was the most beautiful ring I had seen. He asked the question, and I said "YES!"

That was the Valentine's Day I will never forget! And this year we decided to go back and bring our children with us. I love having a special place that we can now go back to and remember how our family first started.

(If you look closely, we are all standing in front of the chapel door)

our love story (part 1)

When I remember meeting Matt, I remember I saw something in his eyes that seemed familiar to me. I really wanted to have a conversation with him...but that was harder to do than I anticipated. We were on the same Mission Leadership team through our church, and still it was hard to talk to him as he seemed to quickly excuse himself from any attempt I made.

So I mentioned to one of my friends, who happen to be married to one of Matt's best friends, that I was interested in getting to know Matt. She was ecstatic and from then on she and her husband were helping us behind the scenes, to have the opportunity to talk. After one of our Mission meetings, they worked it out that we would both ride with them to lunch. I remember talking to him about my major in college, which we seemed right away to have a little different opinion on; but I was not deterred from my quest and challenge to open this guy up. Or so I thought.

I started to pray that the Lord would have mercy on me and just give Matt a little nudge in my direction. Well that prayer lasted about eight months and still, nothing worthy of note happened. I talked to the same friend again after eight months of praying, and she encouraged me to simply change the way I was praying. She suggested that I pray he would have the courage to ask a girl out on a date, since he was really nervous to do so. So for three days, I remember praying that way, and I felt my heart shift from being me focused, to being him focused.

Sunday, March 9, 2003 was an amazing day. I arrived at church, and a little 3 year old boy, with whom I hadn't really had interaction, ran up to me and grabbed a hold of my legs and wouldn't let go. I looked at his mom, and said, "Does he know who I am?" She said he did, and that maybe it was the Lord's way of telling me that He really loves me. Sweet! The service, I remember, was really powerful for me, and again, the Lord was simply reaffirming how much He loved me. A girl came up to me and said she felt like the Lord wanted me to know that God couldn't keep his eyes off of me. This really hit me deep in my soul, just like rivers of living water refreshing me. I went to a bridal shower that day after church, and when I was leaving with one of my friends, I saw I had a voice message. I couldn't stop my excitement when I heard Matt's voice asking if I wanted to go get some coffee sometime. Me? Matt? What??? Again, the Lord was reaffirming how much he knew me and the desires of my heart.

Fast forward 11 months...I had recorded a song I had written for Matt, and I was headed over to his apartment for a Valentine's Day picnic. When he opened the door, I could tell he was acting a little different. Before we left for Montana de Oro, I played him the song I had recorded. He loved it. We headed out to Los Osos and had a wonderful picnic on the cliffs on a perfect beautiful day! We headed back to his truck except when we got there, his truck was no where to be seen. Funny, he wasn't freaking out, but pointed to a familiar looking Suburban...(to be cont'd)

my articulate husband

So I have realized over and over again, just how articulate Matt can be. He really amazes me when he starts talking about something that we have both witnessed or have been a part of, and he describes it with such clarity. It really amazes me! And I am so grateful for it, because so often i feel that what I want to say is so wrapped up inside of me, that I would speak as if looking through a microscope instead of looking out across the grand canyon. I suffer sometimes from speaking from the wrong perspective.

So tonight, as we drove during our date night, he spoke about a situation with such clarity and ended up saying, "sometimes we get so comfortable with someone that we forget to be kind." I kind of tuned out at that point and thought.

I thought about all the people that I have been unkind to as of late. I have become so used to others' presence in my life, that I stop extending the grace and the respect they deserve as a human being, as a child of God. Kindness...

My dad officiated at our wedding, and one of the things I will never forget that he said in encouragement for the journey ahead of us was, "just be kind to one another." You can never be too kind. Thinking of the other person with respect and dignity, not brushing them off with a quick "yeah" or "no!"

I'm reminded of a verse that always brings me hope, "The Lord's kindness leads us to repentance." The Lord is not too comfortable with me that he has given up on me. He still has hope for me even when I have given up on myself. When I think of kindness, I think of eye contact. When I have become too comfortable with someone, I give up eye contact with them. Interesting. The Lord still remains hopeful that I will return his kind look towards me.

So I am going to be more conscious of how kind I am to those who are closest to me. So if I'm looking you in the eye more...you'll know why.

a date in los osos

Matt and I let our boys spend some time with my parents last Saturday, while we went out on the town of...Los Osos! I think there is only one mexican restaurant out there of note, if not the only one, so we went to eat there. Now I'm usually the type of person who really likes to follow the rules, and when I come across one that I've never seen before, I like to adhere to it, for caution sake. When we pulled into the parking lot of this mexican restaurant an elderly gentleman was pulling out of the only spot that would be open. Then I saw the sign:

I had never seen this sign before or heard of parking especially reserved for marines. But, I went with it and told Matt that we therefore could not park there. He instead went right ahead and parked there. I was really getting nervous because what if the manager of the restaurant came out and saw us, and obviously could tell we were not marines? Matt started getting out of the van, then busted up laughing. "It's a joke, Anne!" Oh...

It ended up being one of our best dates. Laughing, and talking, and then having the opportunity to see one of Los Osos's finest sides; the bay at sunset.

thoughts on being a woman

I used to think of myself as a strong, independent person who could stand up to any man. Even though it didn't always show on the outside, inwardly I "knew" I was stronger than others. I guess it came from the way I grew up, life events, birth order, etc.

I remember a moment that was a turning point in my life: I was a swimmer in high school and at one low point in my junior year of swimming, my coach came up to me while I was lifting weights. We were talking about my performance as a swimmer and he said, "I know you can do anything you set your mind to do." That just really encouraged me to keep going strong in everything I did. And I was so grateful to have a coach that spoke good things over his team members!

But I still had one huge limitation in my mind; I was not domestic!!! And I was adamant about it. Before I got married, I had a conversation with Matt about this. He grew up with a mom who was an amazing mother, keeper of the house, great in the kitchen, and on and on. (Love you, mom!) How could I compete? I just let him know that I was not going to cook all the time, or have the house spotless, or anything like that. He was very gracious with me, but still had that look in his eye as if to say, "I see something in you that you don't see."

I look at my life now and sometimes laugh at the things that I do throughout the day...cleaning the house as soon as the boys are down for naps, watering the flowers in my planter outside (that Matt made for me), planning what we're going to have for dinner...but it doesn't stop there! I've been known to throw frozen dough in the oven for fresh bread, buying non-toxic cleaning supplies, doing at least one load of laundry a day, doing the dishes regularly (I'm getting there) and I absolutely love to cook!

I figured out that I was fearful of trying to be mothering or domestic, and failing horribly. But once I tried it, I found out that I was designed to multitask and get more done than I thought was humanly possible, especially with 2 babies to take care of. It's just amazing how the Lord has designed me as a woman. And I love being a mother as well! I absolutely love my boys and I love giving them what they need from me. It has been a dying-to-myself season the last 2 years, as my life is now centered around the boys, but it has been so rewarding!

I am so grateful to the Lord for healing me over the last few years. It used to be hard for me to trust others and myself for that matter, but He's been uncovering the fear and showing me how to hold on to faith in Him! And I know there's more to come...

locked out... inside

I never really noticed that all the doors in our house have locks, an observation that I will never take lightly again!

Well, Caleb has been in the habit of shutting the doors in the morning; probably because he sees Mommy shutting them to keep him from going somewhere I don't want him to be. Matt and I were starting our normal day of him getting ready for work, and me nursing Levi, when I heard a door shut. Thinking this was Caleb just being a good "helper" I didn't mention it to Matt until I saw he had a moment. So Matt went to go check, and yes Caleb had shut the door of our room with him in it. Matt knocked on the door to play the "can i come in?" game, until he found that the door was LOCKED! I was so proud of Matt, because he stayed calm trying to get Caleb to undue what he had done, and we had no idea if it was a push-it lock or a turn-it lock. Needless to say, Caleb didn't know what he was talking about, and he proceeded to play with the no-no's in our room. We were just glad he was happy and not freaking out like we were.

So after Matt had exhausted the normal ways you try to open locked doors, like the credit card trick, and Caleb had finally figured out this wasn't a game, Matt said (like the contractor he is), "we can always take off the trim of the door." Ha, I'm so glad my husband can use tools! So as soon as I saw that we could get to our son, I felt free to document...

four wonderful years

Today Matt and I are celebrating our anniversary of 4 years! I was telling my sister this morning that I can't believe it's already been 4 years, but then again, four years just doesn't sound that long at all! But no matter how it feels, it really has been an amazing four years.

The Lord has been so good to us, so faithful. I am grateful to Him for pointing out my husband to me, and reassuring my heart and mind to say "Yes" when the time finally came that Matt asked me (yes there's a story there). Thank you, Lord for the man you have placed beside me in life. I am forever grateful that Matt understands me; who I think I am, and who the Lord has created me to be. I couldn't ask for a better husband for me or father of our boys!

There are more smiles and laughter in our house because of Matt. I never knew I married a man with so many nonsensical songs in his brain, or so many crazy dancing moves. (Yes he often sings and dances at the same time in our kitchen.) I have laughed more this last year than I think I ever have. The Lord knew the perfect one for me!

ode to dirt

I had to post these pictures because they are so telling of Caleb in his element. This is our front yard about 3 months ago while Matt was building a patio outside our front door. Caleb's love of dirt, trucks and tractors drastically increased after he discovered this mound of dirt.

Oh and did I mention; like father like son... Matt was on the winning team for a sandcastle building contest our church put on at Pismo Beach last month. Here's some pictures of their amazing sandcastle...