in honor of

My father. Let me talk a little about him. I know every father is not perfect, and in that imperfection there is a multitude of grace, especially when he desires and strives to smooth out the rough spots of his character with the Lord. My dad is such a man. And I look up to him in so many ways.

He speaks in a depth and conviction that often rattled me. When he spoke of what he saw in me, it overwhelmed me. I would almost always cry. He really had a way of reaching through a hard shell I had created, and gently cracking it for me, so that I could see the truth about me, about life, about the Lord. I loved him for showing me the truth. I am so grateful.

He shared his love of music with me. He constantly had a guitar in his hands. Singing classics, singing his favorite worship songs, teaching us hand motions for some of them. He and mom would sing over us every night, songs of promise, songs of protection, songs of praise for the Savior of our souls. Those songs still reverberate in my spirit, and they remind me of the Lord's faithfulness despite what I see about me. I am so grateful.

He had a fire within him. Passion. Purpose. Desire to really know. He read the Word of God every day. He studied it with books that were too heavy for me to carry as a little girl. He craved to have it in him, so that he could share and teach it. He encouraged me to spend time with the Lord daily as well. I remember in Junior High getting up early, walking to the beige rocking chair in our living room, and reading my Study Bible, primarily because my dad challenged me to do it. And soon it became a deep need in my life. I am so grateful.

We share a love of dreams. Early morning meetings in the kitchen before getting ready for school, discussing the dream I had the night before. He took them seriously, most of them. And taught me to ask the Holy Spirit about them too. He still is my favorite person to unravel dreams with.

So many fond memories of him, whether it be snuggling up next to him while he took a nap sprawled out on the brown carpet in our living room, or watching him meticulously draft the next remodel project for our house, and actually doing the work himself, or him coming home and telling us all about the people he met at work and how he shared the love of Jesus with them.

He shared one of the most important days of my life with me, the day I married Matthew. He walked me down the isle, and he offiated and declared us married. It was so appropriate, and I think he loved it too. The most important revelation I have had about my dad following my marriage, is that I still need him. Our relationship is different, but he will never stop being my father.

It is exciting to see him now courageously step into the role of Granddad to my children. The blessing on his life is increasing, as he sees the generations affected by his choices, both past and present. There is still more to come. The journey is not over, there's another bend in the road, and I am so grateful to him, that he continues to stay close to our Father through it all, and he continues to lead "little ones" to Him.

sweet rememberances & stepping forward

Matt took off from work a little early for our anniversary celebration weekend. I dropped off the boys at my parents house, ran down the list of their schedules and likes and dislikes with my dad, and headed back into town to pack the last few things, then to get on the road with Matt to Avila Beach just down the street from us. Things actually got off to a little rocky start, but thankfully we worked through our misunderstandings and decided we were going to have a really amazing weekend. And it turned out to be just that.

Dinner at a quiet little place that we have grown to love.

A walk around the village where we stayed, talking about the last five years. Memories, the good ones and the hard ones.

Realizing that we still have much to learn about each other, which is still exciting.

Enjoying each other's company on a bicycle ride to Port San Luis, reminded me of one of our first dates. We hiked up a ridiculous hill where I was practically panting, pretending I was fine, while he was leaping off of rocks at every turn. This time we were very much more in sync, and we made another memory.

Matt and I talked a lot about love languages again during this weekend. And now my quality-time love tank is very full. It was the best thing we could have done to celebrate the last five years together and to give us a great launching point for the years ahead.

(We forgot our camera for most of the things we did, but we had a camera phone, so here's the only picture from the weekend.)

time

I absolutely love spending time with my boys outside! It reminds me how important time is with them...just playing...laughing...getting creative...pointing out the life around us.

The years seem to be going by so fast, but every day is so important. Someone told me yesterday that they were having a conversation about me with one of the pastors from Columbia. This pastor thought I was "so young...maybe 16 years old?" The food I had in my mouth when I heard that almost went flying across the room. Wow...13 years just got knocked off of me! I was shocked that someone thought I could be that young!

These moments in life are so important! What is time anyway? Experiences, seasons, longing, finding, maturity, birthing, dying. It is all important. And at the end of it all, what really matters? That you found Life in those moments, you found redemption, freedom...you found the ability to trust our Father, who we cannot see, but we can experience every moment of these days, that we become more and more like Him!

And I believe the best days are still ahead!

"But I trust in you, O LORD!

I say, 'You are my God.'

My times are in your hand!"

~Psalm 31:14-15~

first words and sentences

Levi is starting to say words, and I am absolutely giddy over it! I don't know what's come over me, but every time I hear him trying to say a word, I can't get the grin off my face.

Matt and I think his first real word was...wait for it..."brush!" Hilarious! He loves holding my brushes and carrying them around the house. Some of his other ones were, "hot" with the sign, "Hi" while waving, and "MINE!" (Not really saying it, but belting it at Caleb.) He started using this last word, because he hears his brother saying it ALL THE TIME!


Caleb is using full sentences now. And it is also cracking me up. The other day he came over to where I was sitting, he leaned over the arm of the couch, eyebrows furrowed, the corners of his mouth downturned, and said, "So...I'm not feeling so good." There was just a quick second of us looking at each other, then I reached over and started tickling him..."You are so funny, Caleb!" And of course he started laughing too. He is a comedian at 2-and-a-half years old.


I'm loving this season in our lives! It is so good to laugh, even in the midst of some hard circumstances right now. Laughter is truly the best medicine!