what keeps me going at the moment...

I woke up yesterday morning and the Lord gave me the scripture, Isaiah 51:3

"And her wilderness He will make like Eden, and her desert like the garden of the Lord;
Joy and gladness will be found in her, thanksgiving and sound of a melody."

The Lord knows what we need, and when we come to Him, He is so faithful to give us exactly what our spirits long to hear.

Then this morning at 3am, I found myself totally awake, shifting in my bed, trying to pretend that I could easily fall back into deep sleep. So I started praying, really praying. I knew this was not a coincidence, because some serious events have led up to this point in our lives. So after an hour, I decided to ask the Lord if he wanted me to read something from the Bible, since sleep was apparently not an option. So I ventured out into the living room, and read and prayed for another hour. This is the scripture I heard him say to read:

Jeremiah 31: "The people who survived the sword found grace in the wilderness- Israel, when it went to find its rest. The Lord appeared to him from afar, saying, "I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore I have drawn you with lovingkindess. Again I will build you and you will be rebuilt...Again you will take up your tambourines, and go forth to the dances of the merrymakers..." And it goes on and on about Israel's mourning turned to joy.

I love how the Lord confirms his word to us, if we allow him to speak. So at the moment He is speaking to me about wilderness, rest, grace, joy, rebuilding, and restoring...exactly what I need to hear. But I believe this is for you too, which is why I have shared it here. Be encouraged, I know this is the time to really seek what the Lord desires and what He wants for our lives. To hear him speaking words of restoration and grace.

What has He been speaking to you? I'd love to hear!

family of five

Some very fun events have taken place in the last couple months. My motherhood is taking on another blessing and challenge. We will soon be a visible family of 5! As I dream about this new little one growing inside of me, I feel overwhelmed with the hope that we will have a girl. We will be delighted with either one, as Matt puts is "we just felt it was time for another child...boy or girl."

This deep hope that I have bubbling within me is so different than I've felt before. I have never felt this aching desire for our little girl like I do now. And with this desire, I know the Lord will give her to us whether it be now later, she will be here one day! But this is speaking something to me that I have to share.

I'm really getting good at raising boys. I love being goofy and rough with them...comforting them when they are hurt, while calling them to take care of those around them. They call something out of me as well. It's a determination to conquer whatever is in front of me.

When I think about raising a girl, someone who is like me in many ways, who is an extention of my womanhood, there is a softness that rises within me. And it's such an amazing feeling. It stirs up the feelings of inner beauty, graceful devotion, eyes rising to the horizon with a fierce hope and faith in the One who created me. It's as if this longing for a girl, also gives me permission to be fully woman. And I could use the little boost in that direction.

I love what our children have brought Matt and I individually and to our marriage. And we are venturing together into raising 3 of them...three little us's! There is no greater joy and challenge in a lifetime. Lord, give me exactly what I need for this next great change.