the cutest thing...

So I've been getting better and better at showing both boys how much I love them...it's harder than I thought it would be. Sometimes I feel guilty gazing into Levi's eyes and talking to him for a minute while Caleb is playing close by. Or putting Levi down while I play outside with Caleb. But I've let the guilt go, and realized that I really can enjoy both boys at the same time, if just in my heart.

So I've been a little less on edge with Caleb the last couple days, and I really had fun playing with him yesterday! We pulled out a new tractor that we've been saving for a day he could enjoy it, and also pulled out a motorized train. I could not believe how much fun those two toys could be for an entire day!

But the thing that I will be pondering in my heart for a while is how Caleb responded to me yesterday. He was getting fussy and ready for his afternoon nap (he stills takes two during the day), and I scooped him up gave him his pacifier and said "you're sleepy huh? Do you know I love you?" He looked me in the eye, almost as if to see if I was serious, and he took out his pacifier and gave me a kiss on the cheek. My heart soared. We had a breakthough in that moment. And it felt so good to know that we still know each other in that special mommy-Caleb way!