thoughts on being a woman

I used to think of myself as a strong, independent person who could stand up to any man. Even though it didn't always show on the outside, inwardly I "knew" I was stronger than others. I guess it came from the way I grew up, life events, birth order, etc.

I remember a moment that was a turning point in my life: I was a swimmer in high school and at one low point in my junior year of swimming, my coach came up to me while I was lifting weights. We were talking about my performance as a swimmer and he said, "I know you can do anything you set your mind to do." That just really encouraged me to keep going strong in everything I did. And I was so grateful to have a coach that spoke good things over his team members!

But I still had one huge limitation in my mind; I was not domestic!!! And I was adamant about it. Before I got married, I had a conversation with Matt about this. He grew up with a mom who was an amazing mother, keeper of the house, great in the kitchen, and on and on. (Love you, mom!) How could I compete? I just let him know that I was not going to cook all the time, or have the house spotless, or anything like that. He was very gracious with me, but still had that look in his eye as if to say, "I see something in you that you don't see."

I look at my life now and sometimes laugh at the things that I do throughout the day...cleaning the house as soon as the boys are down for naps, watering the flowers in my planter outside (that Matt made for me), planning what we're going to have for dinner...but it doesn't stop there! I've been known to throw frozen dough in the oven for fresh bread, buying non-toxic cleaning supplies, doing at least one load of laundry a day, doing the dishes regularly (I'm getting there) and I absolutely love to cook!

I figured out that I was fearful of trying to be mothering or domestic, and failing horribly. But once I tried it, I found out that I was designed to multitask and get more done than I thought was humanly possible, especially with 2 babies to take care of. It's just amazing how the Lord has designed me as a woman. And I love being a mother as well! I absolutely love my boys and I love giving them what they need from me. It has been a dying-to-myself season the last 2 years, as my life is now centered around the boys, but it has been so rewarding!

I am so grateful to the Lord for healing me over the last few years. It used to be hard for me to trust others and myself for that matter, but He's been uncovering the fear and showing me how to hold on to faith in Him! And I know there's more to come...