goodbye

There have been several times in my life that I have had to say goodbye to my sister. And they all have felt like they are the hardest one at the time. Growing up with my older sister (by 15 months) being my best friend, going before me in almost everything, was truly a great joy for me. I do admit high school was a challenge for us, but we got through it as friends.

The first time I had to say goodbye was when she went on a mission trip to Zimbabwe when I was 14. I had never been that far away from her for that long, and I loved hearing her stories when she came back, and I felt that I lived them myself in my imagination.

Then she moved away to college and I thought my world was going to fall apart. We dropped her off in Pasadena, and then... we just drove away. It took my parents talking me through it, to actually dip into the reservoir of my emotions on the issue, and yes, I cried a lot of the 4 hours home.

Another time was when she married her husband Daniel. On the beach of Hawaii, I realized life with my sister would never be the same. It was a grieving but also a tremendous joy to see her unite with the man who cared deeply for her, and who I knew would never give up on her.

There have been multiple times when the relationship I cherished with my sister simply changed in one moment. And I had to ask myself multiple times if my heart could accept the change and rise up to another level in relationship. Just as the Lord asks me to no longer live in the past; past joys and past sorrows, but to arise to the newness of this day with Him. It's an adventure, and I don't always throw everything I have to embrace the journey.


Now I say goodbye again to my sister and also on some dreams I have had of her and I raising our children side by side together. Halle, Daniel and Jackson are moving to Texas, half way across the country. I have been challenged to accept this change, to accept the fact that I'm gonna have to put more effort into building upon our relationship. But through all the emotions I know that every effort is going to be worth it. I can't imagine living life without my sister close by, but I do bless them in this new season in their lives. This is a new adventure for all of my family, and a time to not only say goodbye, but to open the door to a new hope in the midst of the change.

Halle, I love you...