the breaking

I saw a sight the other day while driving, that totally made me smile. It was just a quick glance into the field at my right. I saw about a dozen horses in a pasture, and about six foals. What made me smile, was the foals...they were actually rolling over and over on their backs, kicking their legs in the air, and tossing their heads back and forth.

Totally free.

Totally oblivious to what was going on around them.

It seemed to me in that split second as I glanced their way, that the freedom they felt came from the security they knew which was right above them.

I took it to heart. The Lord has been asking me to not carry the weight of the world on my shoulders...which goes against the desires of every fiber in my being. I want to control everything around me...but simply put, I cannot. The world around me, my circumstances, seems to be helping to break my control issues. The things I've felt security in, finances, relationships, ministry...(did I mention finances?) have been crumbling before my eyes.

This is the breaking...this is the surrender...these are the falling-into-true-security moments.

Tears...

heartache...

but ultimately hope...such a sweet hope,

a hope that is carrying me to freedom.