when my heart is overwhelmed...

"Overwhelmed" defined:

--rendered powerless especially by an excessive amount of something...

--to overpower especially with superior forces...

--to bury beneath a mass of something...

I rarely feel the need to use this word to describe how I'm feeling. I've learned over the years that this word is not necessary to overuse. So only in special circumstances have I used it. And now would be a perfect time to indulge.

About to have my third child, just moved into a new house, financial stress, friendships shifted, extended family unsettling, wanting my heart to be changed and simply put...grown larger, and just noise, noise, noise all around me, these are some of the things going on in my life. Questions unsettling me about our future, where we're going, and what it's going to look like. Feeling so much change all around me that I just want to look up to the heavens and scream: "It's too much!!! I'm undone! HELP me oh God!"

I learned this song growing up that has stuck with me in life. The lyrics are: "When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the Rock that is higher than I..." (Which comes from the scripture Psalm 61:2) It's in those times when I feel buried beneath something, or some greater force has come to try to overpower me, or an excessive amount of something has crept in the back door, I only need to be lead...period. And the thing that I've come to understand is that I can let these overwhelming forces lead me to a very unhealthy place, or I can allow the Lord (who allowed these things to come into my life in the first place) to lead me to the one place where my heart will be secure... only with Him!

As I was so kindly reminded by my husband tonight, I am a very strong woman. I hold things together pretty well. I can have a lot on my plate and still be steady. It's how the Lord raised me. I see problems and I will find solutions. I plow ahead even when it's not expected of me. I rarely sit things out, I want to be involved and on the fighting team.

But I've found out recently that I am only ever overwhelmed when I'm trying to fight something ON MY OWN! Even in the strength God's given me, I was never made to stand on my own. Pride has been part of my make-up for a very long time. But the Lord has been speaking pretty clear, that I cannot fight alone. I must yield to my Maker every time, every day, every season. He is the Rock on which I stand. If I didn't have Him to hold me up, I would fall every time.

So with Titus coming, I feel the Lord's encouragement that this is a new season of JOY not of hardship! 2 Corinthians 7:6 says, "But God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus!" The Lord knows what we need in every season. And He is the one who makes my heart steady and who makes my feet secure on Him, my Rock! Thank you Jesus! I entrust my heart completely to YOU!