where it all started

Someone said today, "You seem like you're a lot like your mother." She didn't know me, and had only met me one other time, but she said it so confidently. I felt honored to be equated with such a wonderful woman.

My mother. Mothering is such a sacrifice and only now am I beginning to appreciate the price. I am so grateful to my mother in so very many different minuscule ways. My memory is going back to one specific time that changed my life.

Our family was rocked with the devastation of the loss of my brother more than 15 years ago. After a few months, I remember telling my mom that I was afraid I was going to forget him and all the memories. So my mom decided that I needed a journal. She took me to a book shop, and said, "you can pick out a journal, Annie. One that you really like, to write down everything you remember and all the feelings you are having about missing Gabe."

It was an exciting moment in my life, I remember finding one that had a scripture on it about the goodness of God. I wrote in that journal everyday, sometimes twice a day, until I felt I had run out of memories. Then...I just kept writing.

It has been an amazing journey through the years. Writing has a way of revealing to myself what is most important to me. I have lost count of the number of journals I've gone through over the last eighteen years, but I will never forget my first one, and the precious gift it was to me from my thoughtful mother.