our two-year-old

Our firstborn son turned two yesterday! Caleb is such an amazing boy, and we are so blessed to have him in our lives! He seems to have grown up so quickly since Levi was born.

In the last couple weeks, Caleb has started to distinctly say, "Yes!" Not Yah, but Yessss! It is so cute! One day, he just started to say it, it wasn't a gradual thing. And just yesterday, I noticed that he was clapping to a song in rhythm!!! I was so impressed. Yep, I'm a proud momma!

Daddy got Caleb a cookie with "Happy Birthday, Caleb" written on it, as you can see in the video. And even though Caleb had a cold, I gave in and let him have the sugar coated sugar cookie...I'm a softy sometimes.

In case you're curious what his pajama shirt says, it says, "Judah is my middle name". Yes, it used to say "trouble is my middle name" but we just couldn't put that on Caleb. So Matt changed it to reflect the truth. Pretty funny!

a date in los osos

Matt and I let our boys spend some time with my parents last Saturday, while we went out on the town of...Los Osos! I think there is only one mexican restaurant out there of note, if not the only one, so we went to eat there. Now I'm usually the type of person who really likes to follow the rules, and when I come across one that I've never seen before, I like to adhere to it, for caution sake. When we pulled into the parking lot of this mexican restaurant an elderly gentleman was pulling out of the only spot that would be open. Then I saw the sign:

I had never seen this sign before or heard of parking especially reserved for marines. But, I went with it and told Matt that we therefore could not park there. He instead went right ahead and parked there. I was really getting nervous because what if the manager of the restaurant came out and saw us, and obviously could tell we were not marines? Matt started getting out of the van, then busted up laughing. "It's a joke, Anne!" Oh...

It ended up being one of our best dates. Laughing, and talking, and then having the opportunity to see one of Los Osos's finest sides; the bay at sunset.

the age of mobility has begun

It has begun! Levi is on the move. He's sitting up, rolling over, and doing the army crawl! AHHHH. I have heard from so many moms of two or more kids, that with number 2, you are less likely to encourage them to start moving. This...is true!


I'm not encouraging it at all, I'm just sitting back and watching it happen. I can no longer put a blanket down on the floor and expect Levi to stay there. He's all over the living room.


He is such a little love. When I pick him up, he seems like he's giving me a bear hug; both arms around my neck, nose into my shoulder, and squeezing...tight.


I stand back simply amazed that this little one is ours. He came from us, and carries within himself part of us. Caleb and Levi are tremendous blessing in our lives. I can't imagine what we would be like without them!

an unexpected gift

I recently made some big decisions in my life in regards to my relationship with God, decisions that I knew I needed to make, but hadn't done in a really long time. And without getting any more specific, I wanted to write about something that I noticed after I had made those decisions.

I was driving home and as I pulled onto our street, I saw two white doves fly in front of our van.

Let me explain something about myself. I have always seen birds as a sign from the Lord, or at the least, a way the Lord uses to speak to me sometimes. Going back a few years before I was married, I remember one moment that was just such a time. I hadn't started dating Matt yet, and I was really feeling the desire to meet my husband. I was on the beach and asking the Lord about it. I looked up and saw one bird fly over my head, and a moment later another bird came from a different direction and started flying with the first bird. I felt the Lord reassure me that the time was drawing near that my life would soon be accompanied by my husband.


So coming back to last week, when I saw the doves, I knew the Lord was encouraging me that He knew me, and had seen...me. I love how the Lord speaks not only when we are expecting or hoping He will, but especially when we are not expecting it!

The very next day, I was headed outside, and I opened the front door really quickly. I heard the flutter of wings, looked up and saw about a dozen white doves fly up from our front yard up into the sky, landing on the telephone pole. It was a beautiful sight. I'm so used to seeing little black crows all over the field, that this really caught me by surprise. I've always seen doves as a symbol of peace and hope. And again, I felt the Lord's love for me and for my family!

I had never seen doves here, in the year we've been here in this house. And now, they seem to have gone already. It was only for a few days that they were finding their home here. And it was just enough for me to remember that the decisions I make in relation to God are the most important.

All creation worships our God, we must join in too!

the ens boys

daddy and lego's

Matt has always been the king of building in our house. If there's a shelf that needs to go up, he's the one to do it; if there's a patio that needs to be put in, he's on the job; if there's boxes and boxes of Lego's from birthday gifts throughout his life, he is the one who knows what to do with them.

Then, enter Caleb Ens, also interested in the plethora of Lego's to be built into something great for all to stand in awe of his masterpiece. And in his mind, Daddy needs to share his toys...for the greater good.

How can daddy resist?

beauties

A spectacular sunset as seen from our backyard...and a simple smile shines just as bright as seen from mama's eyes...

windows and gifts

Hello. This is Matt. I am the one who is still falling in love with the red-head who runs this blog. Anne gave me permission to write something, so here goes... I've always known she loves to write, but I am understanding more why she writes and why it's so important for me to read what she writes here. Much more than just a hobby -- this is a window to her heart. Really, we all have windows like that. Windows that invite others to discover who we really are and what really matters to us. It is a personal invitation to celebrate life and all that God has meant it to be with Anne-Therese Ens!

That said, I want to invite you to celebrate with us. We have a new nephew! Kamin Ens is coming home! I am so blessed to be an uncle, and so very proud of my niece and nephews, but I really wasn't sure how I would handle this. Thousands of miles away, my brother and his family are picking up their son...and I am here. I was sure it would sink in somehow over time, but I couldn't get my mind around this adoption process. I just wanted to know what to do. And I wanted to hold him! And I can't (yet)! But when I saw this first picture, it was like my heart got bigger - instantly! And I knew that I really loved this little boy and was so thankful he is part of our family. He is a gift from God and purposed for great things. Reading my brother's blog entry (notice we have to borrow our wives') helped me understand that preparing for what God wants to do is mostly to do with willingness. The rest is a gift from Him. And thanks to Lowell and Melissa's faith and prayers, we all get to share in this new life.

look alikes? (pt 3)

Here are Caleb and Levi, both pictures taken at around 5 months old.

Not so much looking alike, really...

what if i forget?

I was driving the other day with Caleb and Levi falling asleep behind me, (sometimes I just take a drive so they will) and I realized that I would soon be driving by the grave site of my brother. There it went just on my left hand side, I glanced briefly, then wondered if I should stop. One of these days, I actually will.

After I drove away, I thought about him. My mom recently said, "he was only with us for a short time, but his life changed us forever." What a profound response to the death of one so dear to us. I couldn't stop thinking about my response.
...What have I done, because of his life?
...What have I not done, because of his death?
I often forget that he even lived, I get so focused on the fact that he's gone.

I turned to the Lord in that moment of driving without a destination. What have I done, Lord? What have I not done? I could feel the Lord's embrace; I have been afraid to fully LIVE. I have so many dreams unfulfilled, I just let them die because I have been afraid to put everything I have into seeing them come to fruition. What if they do, and I become successful?

When I'm in the presence of the Lord, I feel confident, unafraid, passionate, motivated, full of dreams and visions. I remember that my brother died, and I remember I want to live...really live, because I have experienced the brevity of life. Then, when I go day to day...to day...I seem to gradually forget what I have set in my heart to do. Apathy sets in, along with doubt.

Break the chains of apathy, Lord! I want to remember, and never forget...TO LIVE! I have one life and I need to live it. I will take my dreams and live them, because you have given me LIFE...breath within me. Free me from the fear that so easily entangles me. I will live with confidence, conviction, and consciousness of the fact that YOU HAVE MADE ME, FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS!

to rest

What does it mean to really rest? What is it supposed to produce...because everything we do produces something, right? ("What you sow, you will reap.") When we rest, it should produce energy, strength, an inner focus to charge full steam ahead again. But, well...what does that look like?

Lately, when Matt and I have had some time at home without any agenda, we have had the choice to watch a movie, play a game, watch the Olympics online (no cable TV). But I have found that after any one of these, I'm still tired. I have a full, full time job! Everyday from 7 am to 9 pm, at the least. I keep hoping for that strength to return, so I can do it all over again.

That's usually where I remember that the Lord says to come to Him if we are weary, and He'll give us rest. This is a different type of rest than just putting in a movie, sitting back and taking it in for 2 hours. This is where I can hear deep in my spirit the message the Lord knows I need to hear, this is where I can dive deep into His rivers of living water and be refreshed. This is where I know the curse can not touch me, when I remember all my offenses are washed away by Jesus Christ. I need this type of rest. In fact I cannot get up tomorrow morning without remembering that He is on my side, rooting for me to rise up, and take ahold of the vision and purpose He has planned for my life.

To rest, is to remember. To rest is to pull back, regroup, and listen. To rest is to be still in the presense of our Father. That's the type of rest worth taking!

another senior amongst us

We went out to celebrate my dad's birthday, he turned 55 on August 5th! It was so fun to have our whole family there, which seems like a rare thing now-a-days. I'm so grateful to my dad for choosing to give life to 5 children, never backing down from the call to raise up his children as unto the Lord. It's the best gift a father could give to his children!

After seeing so many 5's in the last couple sentences I wrote, I'm remembering that the number 5 symbolizes GRACE. Dad, may you know the Lord's abundant grace for your life this year!

Dad (Granddad) & Caleb

sisters and brothers

The Whittingtons

Levi & Jackson are only 3 months apart, and they're already fond of each other.

family-full weekend

Here's some more pictures from our weekend with our families.

Grandma Wright (my dad's mom)

Cousin Sarah...

Aunts, Debra and Kristi...

Aunt Melinda, Sarah, and Grandma...


From the time we spent with Matt's parents...
At the beach


At Marie Calendars...

At Avila Valley Barn, so many new animals were born only a month ago! Caleb loved running back and forth between all of them!

my cousins' baptism

I just want to say that I loved seeing my cousins, aunts & uncles, and grandma this weekend! I was so impressed with my little cousins who decided to be baptized in Avila Beach. I think the last time I saw them was several years ago, so this was a treat to see them growing into young men who are choosing to serve the Lord! It's just so cool. So here's some pictures from the event...

My cousins...Jaron & Joey...

little laughter

Here's some recent videos of our boys.

Caleb loves to read books! His new favorite book is called "Inside a barn in the country". He has always loved the ending but now he's trying to repeat what the farmer says. It's just so cute. He also has a little farmer that he plays with, and without thinking the other day, I asked him what the farmer says, and he repeated the last page of this book. I love the way little people think!

And I just love Levi's little laugh...

harvest time

We live in a house that sits on about 22 acres. Most of it reaches well beyond what we see everyday, just over the hill. The farmers who rent the land from our landlord are having a hard time getting the crop to come up right now. This is the second batch of sprinkling they've done on the land. This time they are hoping the flowers come up.

For some reason as I came around the bend about to pull into our driveway tonight, what I saw took my breath away for a moment, just before the logic told the romantic in me that they were just sprinklers. But it was so beautiful; arcs of water reaching all across the acres of land, soaking into the dry earth. I love it here! It is so great to live in San Luis Obispo and also live in the country.

It reminds me of my Grandparents house in See Canyon. They had 250 acres of canyon land. I absolutely loved visiting there as a young girl with my family. They had an apple orchard and as a treat my Grandpa would take us for tractor rides. We would sit up behind the huge wheels, hold on for dear life and squeal with laughter. I miss those days!

Now Caleb and Levi are growing up around the same surroundings of nature and growth; the seasons of planting and reaping; of harvest time! This just fills me with awe, I love how nature is such a picture of what is going on in the spiritual realm. It always comes back to that...

created to create

Since I wrote briefly about singing lately, I decided to write a little more. This morning I had the privilege of singing in our worship band at church, (which is awesome!) And there was a moment in practice that I realized that I was so excited to be singing and making music with these people and to the Lord! I only feel this type of feeling when I'm singing or playing the piano, or writing music. And I didn't want to be anywhere else. I had the opportunity to show some of the songs I had written to our worship pastor at church a few days ago, and I came home elated for the rest of the day.

What is it about music, about worship that totally takes me to another place in my heart and in my spirit? I commented to the other backing vocalist about this, and she agreed. She also added that musicians are different from other people. Something about "the artist" personality makes my head tilt and my eyebrow tweak. Are there only a small percentage of people who are meant to create? Or does everyone create in different ways? Since we are all created in God's image, and He is the Creator; it only makes sense that we, as His creation, would also create.

There is something different about music though, isn't there? I know plenty of people who say they can't sing, but they wish they could. Music is all around us, everywhere we go. And I think about my sons and how they are already growing up around music. Caleb now asks for us to sing. And he throws his arms in opposite directions around his waste and twirls around. Levi hums himself to sleep, and always smiles when I sing to him. I know they are going to be skillfully playing music in the years to come.

I recently felt permission to create music again. I realized that the Lord has made me to lead others into the presence of the Lord through music, so I better get to it. And I'm loving every minute of it.

ah...those eyes

Caleb is the sweetest little boy and I just have to share! I was having a discussion with Matt a few days ago and I happened to be crying and a little upset. So in the middle of it he came over to me with big eyes and kept saying "Mommy" and patting my knee. Then he hopped into my lap with his eyes locked into mine, and he kept saying Mommy and a bunch of jibberish as if he was trying to console me on the situation. I told him that Mommy was sad, and I made the motion down my cheek with a finger, which is sign language for sad. He looked at me and then gave me a kiss on the cheek. I obviously couldn't stay upset after that!

At church yesterday I was in the nursery with him and a few other babies, and I was holding a sweet little boy who was crying a lot. Caleb came over and patted him on the back. I told him that the baby was sad, and made that motion down my cheek. I could see Caleb making a connection in his mind for a moment, then he said, "ug" and gave the baby a hug.

He's been making the distinction between mean and nice lately. And any time he is about to hit Levi or ram his body into my shoulder, he says "mean-a". I quickly correct him and say "nice please." For the most part he repeats me, and becomes very gentle. It feels so amazing to have this little son of mine putting connections together about other people, and how he interacts with them. He has such a soft and compassionate spirit.

look alikes? (part 2)

Ok. Who's who in these pictures? Anyone? These pictures were taken when the boys are 3 months old. Put your guess in the comments of this post.

wedding adventures

We went on an adventure last weekend to Seal Beach to attend my cousin's wedding! It was a first for Matt and I as we have never been to a wedding with 2 babies in toe (and arms.) My cousin Erin was a beautiful bride and the wedding was amazing!

Matt and Caleb missed most of the ceremony and the reception; Caleb's attention span is still pretty short. But we had a great time at the pool before the wedding and Caleb enjoyed the water by the end of a half hour. Levi hung out with his great aunts and uncles and his first cousin's once-removed. (still figuring out their relationship titles.) My aunt Mary Beth is holding Levi at the pool.



The other highlight from our trip was the privilege to sing with my sister again! It has been so long. Ever since I can remember, it was always Halle and I singing something somewhere together. Whether it be leading worship with my parents when we were 2 and 3 years old, or singing in choir together in high school. Endless memories of our voices being entwined. This time we were singing with her husband, Daniel! We sang, "Jesus, Savior" (by Daniel), during the communion moment between Erin and Danny. I just was on cloud nine, because it is one of my most favorite things to do, to sing; and to sing about the Lord, none the less!

Here's my sister, Halle, with her precious Jackson at the wedding. (If you want to read about Jackson's adventures, follow the link to Halle's blog on the right.)

And I had to throw this picture in of my cousin, Julia who is the closest cousin to me in age (out of all 18 on this side of the family). We also have some fun memories growing up! She now lives in New York! And yes that cuteness she's holding is Levi.

We're still working on getting pictures of the four of us together.